Shalom, verily I saith unto you that thou art a treasure! And should have no trouble, having given up the luxury of food, fitting through the eye of yon needle.
God yes, most financial advice is shit. The worst I've seen was years ago on a credit card company website. "Save money by bringing your lunch from home! If you spend $10 every day on lunch and you switch to bringing it from home, you'll save $50 a week! That adds up!"
My math ability stops at a 5th grade level and even I know that's wrong. Groceries are not free. You spend money on groceries and you turn those groceries into daily lunch. You will probably save SOME money, but Kroger will not mail you a refund check to reward you for putting your groceries in Tupperware and transporting them to your workplace. And this was over a decade ago so it wasn't even AI slop. An adult with a job wrote that shit.
Anyway, your hyperbolic story is way more entertaining than my rant. Well done!
I'm so going to miss this now I've -temporarily - unsubscribed,due to temporary financial embarrassment,no caramel lattes for me. Just as Jesus advises. I'll be back !
I saw "Vt Hot" on the label and for a good second I thought it meant "Vermont Hot" and, yeah, OK, OK, mm-hmm, I can see Jesus as "Vermont Hot", sure. Maybe not Rhode Island Hot, though.
You absolutely never disappoint. And what's so wonderful is that you are so fucking irreverent and probably infuriate those who need to relax their sphincter muscle(s). Thank you.
I had NO IDEA of this origin. A friend used it when discussing a mutual (rigid & condescending) friend. I'm an absolutist about attribution, so, Shalom, many many thanks for this information. And now......thank you, Mel Brooks. One of my heroes. It's twooo, it's twooooo.
Clever plan...the rich are full of advice. Your kid doesn't need 37 dolls! And why waste your money on all those pencils??? Look at me! I saved so much money by starving the world's children, that I can buy a golden ballroom! Here's a sideways picture of my pool...it's bigger than the tallest building in New York City!
A legitimate lifestyle choice! Don't you know? Here in South Africa, prisoners get hot water, flushing toilets, a sponsored education and three hot meals a day. Which is better than agood percentage of our school children. No wonder thats where so many of them end up.
Shalom, verily I saith unto you that thou art a treasure! And should have no trouble, having given up the luxury of food, fitting through the eye of yon needle.
Make America Hungry Again.
God yes, most financial advice is shit. The worst I've seen was years ago on a credit card company website. "Save money by bringing your lunch from home! If you spend $10 every day on lunch and you switch to bringing it from home, you'll save $50 a week! That adds up!"
My math ability stops at a 5th grade level and even I know that's wrong. Groceries are not free. You spend money on groceries and you turn those groceries into daily lunch. You will probably save SOME money, but Kroger will not mail you a refund check to reward you for putting your groceries in Tupperware and transporting them to your workplace. And this was over a decade ago so it wasn't even AI slop. An adult with a job wrote that shit.
Anyway, your hyperbolic story is way more entertaining than my rant. Well done!
The landed gentry always have good reasons why they're rich - which never includes their having landed in the right womb.
Also, if you own Tupperware, you're rich.
I inherited my Tupperware. We’re old money rich 😂
Niiice
True that!
Had you gone to a deli, Moses would have advised the road to wealth is to stop ordering bagels.
(Tucker Carlson would advise to never go to a deli.)
A bagel? In this economy?
I'm so going to miss this now I've -temporarily - unsubscribed,due to temporary financial embarrassment,no caramel lattes for me. Just as Jesus advises. I'll be back !
See you in three days.
😄months!
Lotta laughing here, so much I shot latte out my nose!
Thus wasting milk and coffee. This is not how the rich behave.
Was gonna say the same thing. "Conspicuous eruption."
What a terrible play on two words revered by one of the world’s major religions….well done!(does this make me as depraved as you?)
I saw "Vt Hot" on the label and for a good second I thought it meant "Vermont Hot" and, yeah, OK, OK, mm-hmm, I can see Jesus as "Vermont Hot", sure. Maybe not Rhode Island Hot, though.
Nazareth Chic.
🤣 Thought the same about the VT! Your comment made it even better!
"You’re not the son of God. You’re just a homeless guy.”
/ Why not both?
It just gets worse every day. I want to make a funny clever comment but I can't Hahahaha.
Thank Jeebus for YOU.
Dark, but on brand. Now back to eating orphans with past-due library books.
No work ethic, those lousy orphans.
Oh Jesus, Shalom.
You absolutely never disappoint. And what's so wonderful is that you are so fucking irreverent and probably infuriate those who need to relax their sphincter muscle(s). Thank you.
"Gentlemen, Gentlemen, relax your sphincters." - Blazing Saddles.
I had NO IDEA of this origin. A friend used it when discussing a mutual (rigid & condescending) friend. I'm an absolutist about attribution, so, Shalom, many many thanks for this information. And now......thank you, Mel Brooks. One of my heroes. It's twooo, it's twooooo.
Clever plan...the rich are full of advice. Your kid doesn't need 37 dolls! And why waste your money on all those pencils??? Look at me! I saved so much money by starving the world's children, that I can buy a golden ballroom! Here's a sideways picture of my pool...it's bigger than the tallest building in New York City!
I know, now, why they call it "Filthy Rich".
Jesus knew that, too.
What an interesting piece of writing . Quite enjoyable. A little dark a little funny , little reality 🧡
Omg I needed that laugh this was so fun
A legitimate lifestyle choice! Don't you know? Here in South Africa, prisoners get hot water, flushing toilets, a sponsored education and three hot meals a day. Which is better than agood percentage of our school children. No wonder thats where so many of them end up.