Last night I woke from a mysterious dream whose meaning eluded me. So discomforting was the dream that I sat up, certain it was real. In it, I was in my bathroom, holding a cotton swab which I presently inserted into my ear. After a gentle twist, I pulled the swab out -- only to discover that the tip was covered with shit.
Shit shit.
Feces.
I dropped the s…
Keep reading with a 7-day free trial
Subscribe to Shalom Auslander's Fetal Position to keep reading this post and get 7 days of free access to the full post archives.