Welcome to The Fetal Position

Life, said Tom Hanks when Robert Zemeckis told him to, is like a box of chocolates: excited to receive such a treasure, you tear it open, lift a delicate morsel out and close your as its sweetness fills your being, whereupon you quickly discover that you're allergic to nuts, your throat swells shut and you die of anaphylactic shock.

Above: Everyone.

So wh…