Why I Wasn’t Chosen to be Pope

What really went down in the Vatican, from someone who was there.

The flight from LA to Rome is eleven grueling hours, but Jerry, the guy from the Vatican, said they were looking for an American for the Pope gig, and that I had a pretty good shot at being chosen, so I decided to go.

“Chosen,” I said with a laugh. “Because of the Jew thing.”

He didn’t laugh.

I was skeptical, of course, but Jerry was pretty convincing.

Th…