Worst Pool Game Ever

(Note: For Orli’s take on the exact same incident, check out Brained)

Orli and I were sitting at the public pool at the center of our condo village last Sunday when I noticed the children in the pool playing a strange game called “Bibi.”

“Benjamin!” one boy called.

“Netanyahu!” the other children replied.

I recalled a similar game from my own youth called “Marco Polo,” in which the person who is “Marco” closes their eyes, calls out “Marco!” and all the other players have to respond “Polo” as she tries to catch them. When she does, that person becomes Marco, and the game continues. But this game worked somewhat differently, and as I watched them play, I tried to figure out the rules.

In the first place, unlike in Marco Polo, the player who is “Benjamin” doesn’t keep his eyes closed, and also, he carries a high-caliber semi-automatic submachine gun. When the other players respond “Netanyahu,” the “Benjamin,” just like in Marco Polo, has to chase them. If he catches them, they have to leave the pool; if they get away, he can call “Halt!” and if they don’t stop where they are, he can shoot them. If he misses, they can respond with rockets which they get from a player called “Iran,” who sits just outside the pool and pretends he isn’t playing.

Now I hate to be “that guy,” but I had come to the damned pool to relax, to get some sun and forget about my troubles, a good ol’ American Sunday afternoon, and the sound of gunfire, artillery and screaming were very disturbing. The kids were making an awful racket, and so I decided to approach the mother of one of the children to ask if she could tell them to play something else.

And that’s when things got ugly.