Oct 12, 2023·edited Oct 12, 2023Liked by Shalom Auslander
I loved this so much I sent it on to many people, most of whom, I hope, will subscribe, including my bro-in-law who will definitely laugh (raised orthodox catholic). Thank you, Shalom!
Imagine the dick pic... Fame and fortune! "Once the desired state was achieved, I had to somehow hold myself with one hand, maintain that state with nmy second hand, hold the protractor with my third hand and try to take a photo with my iPhone with my fourth hand."
I loved this so much I sent it on to many people, most of whom, I hope, will subscribe, including my bro-in-law who will definitely laugh (raised orthodox catholic). Thank you, Shalom!
There's a part 3?! I'm sorry, that's terrible but also incredible news.
So now I know what a shofar is. Unfortunately, my new-found knowledge is tainted.
lol
Shofar doesn't sound shogood.
This writing brings me a wide range of emotions:?ranging from hilarious, empathetic, warm & fuzzy to cringing sympathetic pain. This piece is fabulous
I feel bad laughing, but God this is comedy gold. I really hope you're okay.
It is said that afterwards there is amnesia for severe pain
May your amnesia come swiftly … though clearly not swiftly enough
Hoping you will be ok soon and sooner
Not amnesia, but laughter. Laughter's better.
Imagine the dick pic... Fame and fortune! "Once the desired state was achieved, I had to somehow hold myself with one hand, maintain that state with nmy second hand, hold the protractor with my third hand and try to take a photo with my iPhone with my fourth hand."
Two comments:
1) OMG (if there is a G)
2) Regarding your insurance company requiring photographic proof: Why would anyone fake this malady?
1 - No G.
2 - I think the better question would be "How?"
Maybe the insurance company demands embarrassing proof to discourage men from seeking treatment, thus saving money.
That's pretty cynical, Ariel. Insurance companies only want what's best for us.
hooking a largemouth bass.
Lol
please tell me that a part 3 is coming very soon.
Shalom, this is such brilliant writing! I'm so sorry for your pain except that it truly makes me appreciate your genius.
When I go to hell, it will be for laughing my ass off about your suffering. Sorry, not sorry.
Everyone needs to read this. I am on fucking tenterhooks... What happens next???
You could not make this up!
Ff
“ the image of intercourse with a shofar-shaped penis recalled not so much making love as it did hooking a largemouth bass.”
Priceless.
I'll get into the price in Part 3.