When I was in college we debated the difference between assholes & jerks. The deeply considered conclusion was that a jerk didn’t know better but an asshole certainly knew what he was about. Apologies for not updating our definition from the ‘70s to include women.
Perhaps this offers a possible solution to the conundrum.
The humor, nay morbid humor, is just *chef's kiss*. After walking through the Auschwitz Concentration camp and museum with my very Polish father and reconciling "Nazi" with NAZI, sometimes the casual tossing of the word from people on the internet is quite bothersome. Now I will just imagine the person whose been deemed as being a Nazi for not liking banana muffins on a Tuesday as trying to do one sit up at Orientation for Nazi's and move on with my day.
Right on target again, Shalom. I am reminded of the New Yorker’s recent inquiry into naming this current age. My favorite was, of course, the Ass-Holocene
Words are spells. Every wordsmith knows this. A sound spoken aloud or a pattern of symbols intended to affect a reaction/change. That makes anyone who uses words a sorcerer. And a "good" sorcerer, and I mean that in terms of skill as much as morality, knows that you only use as much firepower in a spell as is needed, so you can save your more powerful magic for when it's really needed.
If the magical metaphor isn't resonant, one could also use the idea of antibiotics. You only use the powerful ones sparingly, so you don't build up an immunity and don't have them available when you really need it.
I try to be conscious of not using a more powerful word when a lesser one will do. I only use "love" when it matters. I don't "love" M&S English Breakfast Tea or TJ's Unexpected Cheddar, though I enjoy both. I'm not "amazed" when the clerk goes to see if there's any more of either in the back (it's their job after all), though I am appreciative. (Finding someone who can actually answer a question at Home Depot, though, might fall into the category of not just amazing, but miraculous.)
Also, please don't anyone leave substack for some pointless "boycott." The "boycott" of Spotify meant nothing to Spotify. It only hurt me and every indie musician I know. Boycotting substack doiesn't hurt the "Nazis" and it doesn't hurt Substack. It just hurts independent writers who are running out of places to put our work.
As a kid raised (barely) by Survivors in a household brimming with books on WWII and the Holocaust (but little to no explanation of how our own story might slot in), I'm hard-wired to see Nazis hiding behind every curtain. The challenge--as a husband, a father, and a writer--is to recognize the distortion in my lens. To face and move through the unacknowledged grief that, ultimately, kept my father and his family trapped in tiny boxes long after it was safe to come out.
The funniest Substack ever my friend. You might enjoy my own sarcastic discussion of similar issues...the true asshole is someone who is angry before the conversation even starts...
Excellent framing: devaluing terms meant to be shocking…meant to halt depredations against fellow human beings…harms society. Someone like Stephen Miller being correctly labeled a Nazi should be sharply uncomfortable for them, like getting stung by a cattle prod (which, as a farm kid, I used — although reluctantly —on cattle).
My spouse has Jewish heritage, and our beloved DIL and her family are Jewish. But we’ve always been anti-Zionist and anti-Netanyahu.
So guess if J. Greenblatt knew us, he’d call us antisemitic. Farthest from the truth. Conflating being against the political entity Israel’s war of brutality on Palestinian citizens with being against Jews makes me mad and afraid.
If you had delivered this as a lecture somewhere I can imagine a loud voice during Q&A where someone yells "Define asshole!" Which is to say, definition is as helpful for targeting as it is deflection.
Freaking brilliant!! Though you forgot the other category of misappropriated words: narcissist.
People fling that one around, I'm also tired of that. True narcissism is less than 1% of the population but people assign that moniker flippantly when they actually mean asshole 😆
I eagerly look forward to learning how to tell Assholes from Dumbfucks. It is a constant struggle.
Ah yes - the Dumbfuck Conundrum. An even thornier dilemma than the Asshole Question, if only because of scale.
Dunning-Kruger makes everything messier!
When I was in college we debated the difference between assholes & jerks. The deeply considered conclusion was that a jerk didn’t know better but an asshole certainly knew what he was about. Apologies for not updating our definition from the ‘70s to include women.
Perhaps this offers a possible solution to the conundrum.
Have you noticed the surge of assholes in dumbfuck clothing, hoping we will excuse their assholery? Difficult to spot sometimes!
Look in the mirror. You will eventually figure it out.
I do hereby reject my lifelong indoctrination with evil Jew narratives and lies.
The humor, nay morbid humor, is just *chef's kiss*. After walking through the Auschwitz Concentration camp and museum with my very Polish father and reconciling "Nazi" with NAZI, sometimes the casual tossing of the word from people on the internet is quite bothersome. Now I will just imagine the person whose been deemed as being a Nazi for not liking banana muffins on a Tuesday as trying to do one sit up at Orientation for Nazi's and move on with my day.
Please NEVER stop writing.
I like Nazi Orientation Day.
Substack Hitler: "Hey, when's lunch, Mein Fuhrer?"
“Wait - it’s sauerkraut again!?”
Wait till he finds out Hitler was a vegetarian.
Right on target again, Shalom. I am reminded of the New Yorker’s recent inquiry into naming this current age. My favorite was, of course, the Ass-Holocene
Jew Jitsu. :-)
Words are spells. Every wordsmith knows this. A sound spoken aloud or a pattern of symbols intended to affect a reaction/change. That makes anyone who uses words a sorcerer. And a "good" sorcerer, and I mean that in terms of skill as much as morality, knows that you only use as much firepower in a spell as is needed, so you can save your more powerful magic for when it's really needed.
If the magical metaphor isn't resonant, one could also use the idea of antibiotics. You only use the powerful ones sparingly, so you don't build up an immunity and don't have them available when you really need it.
I try to be conscious of not using a more powerful word when a lesser one will do. I only use "love" when it matters. I don't "love" M&S English Breakfast Tea or TJ's Unexpected Cheddar, though I enjoy both. I'm not "amazed" when the clerk goes to see if there's any more of either in the back (it's their job after all), though I am appreciative. (Finding someone who can actually answer a question at Home Depot, though, might fall into the category of not just amazing, but miraculous.)
Also, please don't anyone leave substack for some pointless "boycott." The "boycott" of Spotify meant nothing to Spotify. It only hurt me and every indie musician I know. Boycotting substack doiesn't hurt the "Nazis" and it doesn't hurt Substack. It just hurts independent writers who are running out of places to put our work.
Also, we should come to some kind of consensus on the Soup Nazi situation.
Amen and amom to that.
As a kid raised (barely) by Survivors in a household brimming with books on WWII and the Holocaust (but little to no explanation of how our own story might slot in), I'm hard-wired to see Nazis hiding behind every curtain. The challenge--as a husband, a father, and a writer--is to recognize the distortion in my lens. To face and move through the unacknowledged grief that, ultimately, kept my father and his family trapped in tiny boxes long after it was safe to come out.
"Asshole" is the only truly universal insult. We all have one, we all can be one.
The funniest Substack ever my friend. You might enjoy my own sarcastic discussion of similar issues...the true asshole is someone who is angry before the conversation even starts...
Excellent framing: devaluing terms meant to be shocking…meant to halt depredations against fellow human beings…harms society. Someone like Stephen Miller being correctly labeled a Nazi should be sharply uncomfortable for them, like getting stung by a cattle prod (which, as a farm kid, I used — although reluctantly —on cattle).
My spouse has Jewish heritage, and our beloved DIL and her family are Jewish. But we’ve always been anti-Zionist and anti-Netanyahu.
So guess if J. Greenblatt knew us, he’d call us antisemitic. Farthest from the truth. Conflating being against the political entity Israel’s war of brutality on Palestinian citizens with being against Jews makes me mad and afraid.
As a 37 year old Englishman I wish I’d discovered you sooner now I only have 3 years left!
Seems it would be simpler to not be an asshole, but they’re a dedicated bunch.
You give me hope. And laughter. Thanks
If you had delivered this as a lecture somewhere I can imagine a loud voice during Q&A where someone yells "Define asshole!" Which is to say, definition is as helpful for targeting as it is deflection.
Good essay.
True.
A: "You. Next question."
An asshole is one who confuses the function of his two main orifices.
Brilliant definition!
“Christ , what an asshole”
https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/christ-what-an-asshole
Freaking brilliant!! Though you forgot the other category of misappropriated words: narcissist.
People fling that one around, I'm also tired of that. True narcissism is less than 1% of the population but people assign that moniker flippantly when they actually mean asshole 😆
Thanks for sharing. 🤗
Fantastic! I'm a recent subscriber, but already I'm a big fan.
Your post made me think of one of my favorite quotes, by Kingsley Amis:
"The rewards of being sane are not many; but knowing what's funny is one of them."
Aha! OMG! It happened. It really happened. An intelligent post about Nazis! On Substack! My faith in miracles is restored!
https://shalomauslander.substack.com/p/the-asshole-question
In rereading my comment, I think I might have found another asshole for us to scold. :-)
Not at all.