30 Comments
21 hrs agoLiked by Shalom Auslander

I printed your post, tore it to shreds, and then posted on social media that I had written it.

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You wouldn't be the first.

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12 hrs agoLiked by Shalom Auslander

The first to tear up what you wrote or to claim credit for what you wrote? I think the second would be worse ....

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Both, actually - you pretty much described what AI and Google have been doing to writers for years now. It's like they read "Pierre Menard" by Borges and decided to build an industry around it. But, uh, progress. Or something.

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Printers are so 90s. A true innovation would be to ask ChatGPT to write this article “in the style of Shalom Auslander”. In the spirit of innovation, I tried this, only proving that faking it ‘til you make is just faking it. But at least the only hammer-swinging was to contribute to global warming, as the remote data centre “thought” this through. Progress!

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Yes, well, I'm old and remember when the only printer I could afford was a dot-something or another. So old that I can't remember - Aha! Dot-matrix printer? Anyway, you're certainly right about AI sucking - oh, and also sucking up a lot of energy.

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I fake love it! 💕

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yeah, pretty much, there it is.

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God I loved this one

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How can this be so horribly true and yet so hilarious? Our only defense is to laugh at our pain... However, one sentence made perfect sense to me. "I broke the TV." Now THAT we can all do... go get that sledgehammer.

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I fake everything I say, even this. Welcome to our relationship ouroboric discourse loop. Leave the hammer. Take the cannolis.

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This is a brilliant short story - love it.

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This whole laughing / crying thing has really messed up my tear collecting efforts.

I had nearly 3 cups worth of unadulterated salty tears.

Turns out my nose runs when laughing hard and mucus gums up the waterworks.

So much for making the mint needed to sustain retirement until death.

Worth it!

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Unlike the chatbot, I'm laughing at your satire, not at you.

And longer, and more sincerely.

HA HA HA HA ...

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OMG that was amazing.

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we're not faking hard enough

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founding

Tell Orli (sp? Hope I got that right.) that I figured out that if you’re in action when “faking it till you make it,” then you aren’t faking. You ARE creating your future in some - possibly small- but definite way.

It helps till you retire & find that you were too busy taking care of everyone else in your life, that you’re not on the same page as your beloved, who was letting you as long as he could do what he wanted. And maybe now, never will be. So enjoy the fetal position. Or get a bed your phone can put into zero “G” in < a minute!! And a really good take out service.

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Rise and grind, bro! Join me in the wood chipper.

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You should have started by deleting your cookies.

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