Shalom Auslander's Fetal Position

Shalom Auslander's Fetal Position

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February 2025

January 2025

December 2024

November 2024

My Petition for Someone To Please Kindly Inform Me of the Next Petition, Thank You Very Much.
I'm signing everything, goddamn it.
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Shalom Auslander
56
The Flower That Laughs
On Being Media Clean for Eight Wonderful Days
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Shalom Auslander
39
We’re Way Past Heroin Here
A cry for prescription help
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Shalom Auslander
86
The House That Wouldn't Download
An ultramodern love story.
 • 
Shalom Auslander
33

October 2024

September 2024

Thoughts of a Thought Leader
"Think, dammit, think!"
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Shalom Auslander
35
A Final (Delicious) Solution
I don't usually delve into the seedy world of politics, but it is clear to me that our nation is facing two dire existential threats, threats so real…
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Shalom Auslander
62
Red Fish, Blue Fish, I Can't Afford Tuna Fish
.
 • 
Shalom Auslander
17
What If It’s Funny?
The Comfort of Comical Causation
 • 
Shalom Auslander
44

August 2024

A Plague of Seriousness
It's spreading, and I have it bad.
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Shalom Auslander
59
Whatever Happened to Good Old-Fashioned Diarrhea?
:
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Shalom Auslander
34
What People Who Use Phones or Laptops in Coffee Shops Without Headphones Can Possibly Be Thinking
- Some possible explanations.
 • 
Shalom Auslander
63
A Straitjacket for Two
On 12,045 days of marriage
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Shalom Auslander
66
Phillip Seymour Hoffman: The Not Lost Tapes
The last work of an actual, genuine, no-bullshit artist.
 • 
Shalom Auslander
40
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