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The Helpless Robot Question
I would love to hear your answers.
Jun 27
•
Shalom Auslander
79
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Shalom Auslander's Fetal Position
The Helpless Robot Question
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72
A Hero for Our Times
It was Friday morning, I was in bed, and according to my phone, the world was coming to an end.
Jun 21
•
Shalom Auslander
48
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Shalom Auslander's Fetal Position
A Hero for Our Times
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15
Prayer Upon Checking One's Cellphone in the Morning
.
Jun 6
•
Shalom Auslander
166
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Shalom Auslander's Fetal Position
Prayer Upon Checking One's Cellphone in the Morning
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46
May 2025
Ambien in the Middle East
3AM at the Jerusalem International Book Festival
May 23
•
Shalom Auslander
122
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Shalom Auslander's Fetal Position
Ambien in the Middle East
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57
Triple Homicide in a German Men’s Room
My faith in humanity has been restored.
May 17
•
Shalom Auslander
42
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Shalom Auslander's Fetal Position
Triple Homicide in a German Men’s Room
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12
Why I Wasn’t Chosen to be Pope
What really went down in the Vatican, from someone who was there.
May 9
•
Shalom Auslander
120
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Shalom Auslander's Fetal Position
Why I Wasn’t Chosen to be Pope
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40
I Moved Fast and I Broke Things
Oops.
May 2
•
Shalom Auslander
60
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Shalom Auslander's Fetal Position
I Moved Fast and I Broke Things
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15
April 2025
No Returns on Penis Shirts
Apr 25
•
Shalom Auslander
118
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Shalom Auslander's Fetal Position
No Returns on Penis Shirts
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45
Worst Pool Game Ever
How to play, if not why.
Apr 18
•
Shalom Auslander
50
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Shalom Auslander's Fetal Position
Worst Pool Game Ever
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17
The Real Story Behind Why We Don't Have Matzoh This Year
This is Passover, 2025.
Apr 11
•
Shalom Auslander
138
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Shalom Auslander's Fetal Position
The Real Story Behind Why We Don't Have Matzoh This Year
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65
Sexy Happy Underpants Lady
A story about finding your joy or something.
Apr 4
•
Shalom Auslander
47
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Shalom Auslander's Fetal Position
Sexy Happy Underpants Lady
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23
March 2025
My Dog Works Undercover for God
It’s coming between us.
Mar 28
•
Shalom Auslander
154
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Shalom Auslander's Fetal Position
My Dog Works Undercover for God
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61
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