Shalom Auslander's Fetal Position

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The Existential Threat to Humanity of Brightly Colored Child Handwriting Fonts with Clapping Hands Emojis
There is much to worry the mind these days about the future of our species and planet – war, climate change, further “Ghostbuster” remakes and whatever…
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Shalom Auslander
50
"Yes, But What Do the Half-Baked Think?"
Perhaps the trouble with college student protests isn’t the college students protesting.
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Shalom Auslander
178
15:25
Death Camp Blues
Nobody enjoys news about hatred and genocide and anti-Semitism and swastikas and violence more than me, but I thought some of you might enjoy a laugh …
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Shalom Auslander
31
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The Dangers of Substack for the Chronically Low Self-Esteemed
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An Open Letter to the Organizers of the Next Holocaust
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The Nazi in the Haystack
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Now That We Do Everything Else From Home, Why Don't We Try Living In It?
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109
"Yes, But What Do the Half-Baked Think?"
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The Asshole Question
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95
Pharaohs Aren’t the Problem. We Are.
The Passover story I was taught in the ultra-Orthodox yeshivas of my youth was that of a villainous Pharaoh, a heartless tyrant who ruled with an iron…
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57
Good Afternoon, May I Help You Choose an Anal Toy Today?
An Essay, Believe it or Not, On Writing.
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Shalom Auslander
59
Key Data Findings Regarding the Savage Beatings
As you know, it’s been a difficult few years for our project. Morale was suffering, and motivation was low. We were beginning to lose our sense of…
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94
A Word to the Unwise
Confessions of a fool.
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Oldster Magazine
104
The Period Who Became A Question Mark
ABOVE: The author at 17, in full period mode. I was raised by periods. My father was a period and my mother was a period. My ultra-Orthodox rabbis were…
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92
Now That We Do Everything Else From Home, Why Don't We Try Living In It?
An idea whose time has come back.
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109
An Open Letter to the Organizers of the Next Holocaust
To Whom It May Concern; I am writing to you because a friend sent me a link to a recent article by Franklin Foer about how everyone hates Jews and we’re…
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Shalom Auslander
100
Shalom Auslander's Fetal Position
Shalom Auslander's Fetal Position
"Just to spite the world, don’t cry! Just to spite the world, only laugh, only laugh!" - Sholom Aleichem. Amen, Brother.
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Shalom Auslander's Fetal Position

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