Sitemap - 2024 - Shalom Auslander's Fetal Position
My Petition for Someone To Please Kindly Inform Me of the Next Petition, Thank You Very Much.
The House That Wouldn't Download
The Man Beside Me At Starbucks Is Fondling Himself
Red Fish, Blue Fish, I Can't Afford Tuna Fish
Whatever Happened to Good Old-Fashioned Diarrhea?
What People Who Use Phones or Laptops in Coffee Shops Without Headphones Can Possibly Be Thinking
Phillip Seymour Hoffman: The Not Lost Tapes
Someday You May Miss This Miserable Now
"A Feeling of Abnormal Meaningfulness"
Sacred Cows Make the Best Burgers
Someone Has Been Fiddling With The Volume
The Time Has Come For Me To Affix Threatening Stickers To The Back Of My Truck
"Yes, But What Do the Half-Baked Think?"
Pharaohs Aren’t the Problem. We Are.
Good Afternoon, May I Help You Choose an Anal Toy Today?
Key Data Findings Regarding the Savage Beatings
The Period Who Became A Question Mark
Now That We Do Everything Else From Home, Why Don't We Try Living In It?
An Open Letter to the Organizers of the Next Holocaust
Everyone Is Awesome, Except for Everyone That Isn't Me
E6: Turning People Into Salt Doesn't Make You Right
How to Lose Your Love Handles - and Contempt for Humanity - in Just 3 Minutes a Day
A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to My Whoredom
Prayer Upon Arriving Again At The Writing Section Of The Local Bookstore
On A Scale of One to Ten, How Much Excruciating Emotional Agony Are You In?